


Your Halo Turned to Dust

by ILoveMisha2



Series: The end [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse, Dean - Freeform, Hurt, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform, The End, cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2784605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILoveMisha2/pseuds/ILoveMisha2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>fic written in 2nd person POV. </p><p>You remember the name of each brother and sister as they fell from grace. You want to be able to say you don’t remember the falling because of your own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Halo Turned to Dust

The wind whips at your face and the cold clings to your hair as you glare at the stars. You remember the rebirth of the stars after they fell once ago. You remember the name of each brother and sister as they fell from grace. You want to be able to say you don’t remember the falling because of your own.

But you can’t.

You can’t escape the facts that the star’s downfall was your fault or that the gradual decrease of your hunter’s faith was your fault as well. You can’t escape him and at times you prayed you could. Glaring at the stars never answered your prayers for him.

You look around the camp to distract yourself from your thoughts and you notice how quiet it is, how if you didn’t know better you’d say the apocalypse had come and gone.

Soon you hear your hunter’s heavy boots behind you and you watch as he comes and sits beside you, crowding into your misery. His green eyes never failed to make you gasp in awe. They never failed to break your heart. They never failed to remind you of the fallen stars because it seemed as if they were captured within the pool of emerald.

You barely smile as he puts a hand on your shoulder comfortingly and grabs the joint that’s made a home between your fingers with the other and sits it down. His eyes speak to you again and they let you know he’s concerned and afraid for you, that you could actually fall further than you already have but that this is hurting him too. That you’re hurting him too but you can’t convey or absorb those emotions. They’re too pure for what you have become and you have to look away from his eyes that hold the stars because if you don’t, you might just break the rest of the way.

You wish that he had faith in something other than you. You wish he’d let you die instead of holding you like he is now.

His ‘I Love You’ threatens to restart your heart but as you hear your hollow, emotionless ‘I Love You’ pass your own lips in return, your heart seizes and stops once more. You wish you could give him something as simple as those words back so he could hold them like a lifeline, so he knew you cared as much as he.

But you can’t.

You think he knows that you’re done, maybe even gone, but he doesn’t seem to care and if he does care he’s pretending not to. You don’t want to let him down, you don’t want the feel of his lips on yours to go away but you can’t seem to muster a reaction.

You think maybe it’s because of the drug you just inhaled that’s holding you back and keeping you in place but you know the truth deep down as you search for some reaction, something to give him that conveys his love right back.

No reaction comes as his soft lips ghost away from yours in a way that makes you want to say ‘stay’ because you know he’s silently asking for more and you desperately want to give it to him.

You want to hold him there and beg and plead him whether it’s for more love or for him to forget you completely. You want to want this so bad. You want to surge forward and show him your pain.

But you don’t.

Because of him you want the air to freeze you over and break you at the slightest of touches.

Right now you want to ask him if he remembers the fall, not just yours but his as well.

You also want to ask him exactly what love means to him because you know even though you’ve tried, it doesn’t mean a damn thing to you, not anymore.

Instead of saying anything you let the wind take your breath and close your eye, silently wishing he’d grace you with those soft touches once more.

But he won’t because he can’t because he knows it won’t change anything and that he can’t force you into his love even though you wish he would.

Your hunter sighs out a heavy breath into the air as he stands up and his warmth runs away from you but you can’t stop it and you can’t slow it down as he walks away from you because you can’t fix yourself enough to give him all he deserves.

You want to say ‘I Love You’ with heart and soul, you want to return the faith and forgiveness but your only faith and forgiveness goes to your drugs as they eat you alive.

You smirk because you think it so ignorant that you once believed it would’ve been him that was cold and you that would be desperate for love from him.

You recall the falling and realize your falling again.

All because of him.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm adding another part to this but it will be of Dean's thoughts and is also in 2nd person.  
> let me know if this story is terrible or okay please.


End file.
